Counselling
can be an excellent way to promote change.
Through a relationship with
another person, one who has no agenda towards you, it is possible to
rediscover yourself and gain support to make changes. There are many
different kinds and it is important to find the form which feels right
for you at this particular point in time. It is worth taking a little
time to find out the many different types on offer.
Counselling is also
a very personal experience. It is one in which you need to feel you are
working on together with the counsellor, rather than that the
counsellor is in charge of you. Many counsellors allow a free short
first meeting so that you can find out whether you believe you can work
with that particular person. As you are going to share, possibly more
than you would with your very best of mates, it is definitely important
that you feel comfortable with who you are working with. I will give
details of different methods and give links for you to follow up and
learn more.
HumanisticPsychology is a psychology of
the whole person. It followed on from the work of Freud and Jung but
changed from the Patient/Doctor relationship where the patient was
"under" the Doctor to a relationship of two people working together as
equals to sort out the problem. The emphasis is on how the client
experiences the situation.
It values
all aspects of the person, thinking, feeling, emotion, intuition and so
on. The right of the person to be self determining is valued highly. In
this kind of counselling the counsellor does not expect the client to
accept their views, rather the intent is to help facilitate the client
finding his or her own inner resources. There are many different kinds
of humanistic counselling one may be right for you and another not.
Carl Rogers
was the man who introduced client centred (now call person centred or
Rogerian) counselling. This is a therapy where the aim is to help the
client gain contact with their inner feeling self and own inner
resources. Rogers believed that if core conditions of genuiness, warmth
and empathy were experienced by a client from a counsellor then the
client would be able to begin to heal.
In this form of therapy, thought
and feeling are equally respected. The counsellor does not try to
change the client or be responsible for the client, rather the
counsellor takes on a responsibility to be there with the client as
they go on their journey. She will be there with the client in his pain
but she will not try to take that pain away.
This form of therapy
believes that through our experiences in life we build up a 'false self
concept' and through the genuiness of the therapeutic encounter we are
able to let go of that while getting in touch with our own inner
resources. This way of working believes very strongly in the person's
worth and is a therapy of love and connectedness. Through receiving
warmth, understanding and empathy the client is facilitated to accept
and understand himself and one would hope begin to feel his own
intrinsic worth. The counsellor is very much there as an equal not as a
guru.
The
criticism which other therapists most often level at Rogerian
counselling is that the client gets intimidated by all the warmth and
so doesn't want to expose parts of themselves that are not 'good'!
Apparently
many counsellors begin as person centred
counsellors but then find they need to add something else. However, Carl Rogers
believed that if the counsellor even for one minute doubted that the
client had the resources to heal themselves then the
process was stunted. Rogerian counselling does differ from all other
forms in that the only 'tool' the counsellor has is him or herself.
Given that genuiness is as important in the counsellor's relationship
as warmth, there really ought to be no problem over authenticity.
It is
highly unlikely that a properly trained counsellor would come over so
gushy and warm that the client would not feel able to express their
more shadowy side. If you believe that you could benefit from
counselling where you are really listened to, where no one is trying to
control you, where you can safely explore at your own pace, or if for
whatever reason you are needing a very good friend for a while and
don't have one at the moment, or certainly one who does not have an
agenda for you, then Rogerian counselling may be for you. You can read
more on Carl Rogers here or for a list of all kinds of Rogerian links including counsellors world wide visit Allan Turner's Person Centred site.
There is no question that Carl Jung brought us
an unparalleled rich, creative and symbolic way of working with
ourselves. If you know nothing of Jung at the moment you could begin by
reading Jung
on this site. I have found myself that when I have read Jung my dreams
have been quite happy to take on his symbolism to speak to me, so if
money is an object, it is possible to read up on Jung and work on your
own. This link is for those of you interested in learning more about or
going into Jungian analysis
C0-Counselling is a humanistic form of
counselling but differs from all others in that here you meet with
another person and for half the time you are the counsellor and for
half the client, so very definitely the relationship is equal. It
begins with a course you need to pay for where you learn how to be the
counsellor (and indeed the client!) and thereafter the counselling is
free, as you are providing counselling in return. Co-counselling website
Assertion Training can be of great help to people when they are working on themselves.
